Your tiny bag is so overstuffed full of papers and pockets and fragments and pieces that everything is opening to fuse together like layers of grainy rock and you have to fasten the whole thing between your thighs just to get it zipped up.
1. Over-Stuffed Purse Mess
What "Over-Stuffed Purse Mess" Says About You
You are a make-it-work kind of lady and pleased with it. You are not going to throw your beloved bag to the side just because it's a little stuffed. And the layers are stretched so snug they look like they could just explode. You love your mini purse! It's from your choice designer and you know you possibly should have bought the next size up, but it was twice money and you're totally making this one grind. Who cares if the woman who sold it to you said it was really more of a makeup bag than a purse?
2. Dumpster Purse Chaos
Getting into your purse is like sending your hand dumpster diving — tunneling through old receipts, gum wrappers, and old notes scribbled on scraps of old envelopes. More frequently than not, your wallet or makeup bag or smartphone appears in a fog of dust and filth with at least one piece of remains still hugging to it, which you try secretively to clean off before anyone sees.
What "Dumpster Purse Mess" Says About You
It is not that you want your purse to pull a double shift as a trashcan, it's just that there never seems to be a trashcan around when you need one and you're not some litterbug? It says that you care about the environment a lot more than most people.
3. Always Ready Purse Mess
Whatever and everything you or anyone you are with could need can be found in your purse. If you do not have it, well you probably have a great alternative stuffed in that purse.
What "Always Ready Purse Mess" Says About You
You are a mom? Even if you are not an actual mom, you are totally the mom of your friend group — I mean you have tissues calculators and more for any situation. Sometimes you act crasy that people are always requesting you for things and adopt you will have whatever it is that they requisite, but you secretly love it. You may suffer from back pain from dragging all that weight around on one shoulder, but this is what happens from growing up a Girl Scout.
4. Makeup Eruption Purse Mess
At this point so much compacts, blush brushes, and uncapped lip gloss tubes have run through your bag that now anything you put in it reemerges covered in a sticky, glittery film.
What Makeup Eruption Purse Mess Says About You
You are very precise about your look, but you hate being "that lady" who's always examining her makeup in front of other people. So in your rush to store the proof, you sometimes disregard to make sure everything is correctly closed before tossing it back into your purse. If you ever find yourself in a blush crisis, you can just swipe your purse across your face and you are good to go.
5. Black Hole Purse Mess
Things go into your purse never to be seen again. You've checked for holes in the lining, but you can't find any. And yet, somehow, you've lost three sets of keys in there. Occasionally they pop up in some other pocket, but you surely didn't put them there. The only logical explanation is that your purse is a wormhole hot spot, consuming the contents of your bag and occasionally spitting them back out in random, unexpected places. You'd never admit it, but sometimes you have nightmares about falling into your purse yourself and being lost forever.
What Black-Hole Purse Mess Says About You
You're a busy woman. You've got a lot on your plate and a lot of balls to keep in the air. Your bag is clearly working against you, but what are you going to do? It's the only thing you've found that goes with all your clothes, holds all your stuff, and doesn't make your shoulder ache. One day you'll end this crazy dance, but not today. You've got a to-do list a mile long that you've got to get through first. Wait a second! Where's the list? You were literally JUST holding it!
6. No-Mess Purse Mess
The inside of your bag is so neat and tidy, it looks as if it's been staged for a photo shoot or museum exhibition.
What No-Mess Purse Mess Say About You
You're not a real person. At best, you're an idea of a person from a 1950s vacuum cleaner ad. That or the bag in question is brand new and you're still doing that thing where you try to make this time, this bag, different. No more purse mess for you! You're a strong, professional woman. You will no longer be defined by the mess in your purse! You're breaking the cycle! Wait. Is that a pen mark on the lining already?